Fighting My Mental Health

If you are anything like me, then you probably have really bad anxiety when it comes to just about everything in life. Anxiety is intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fears about everyday situations. It affects everyone differently and shows in different capacities. As I have gotten older my anxiety has increased in certain situations. As I have been in therapy I have learned about different ways to help calm myself when an anxiety attack starts to come on. It becomes all-consuming and debilitates me at times and those days are the hardest days for me to keep pushing. People who suffer from depression and anxiety will go through ups and downs. It just happens that mine tend to be more severe than most. The summer and fall are the times of the year when I tend to get out of the house the most and work on focusing on mellowing out and controlling my breathing more. I explore the places around me, go swimming with friends, and spend more time with family.

As we go into the colder weather and winter we come into my favorite holiday which is Christmas. You would think that Christmas being my favorite holiday and my love for decorating, the Hallmark Christmas movie channel, and Christmas music would mean that I would not be in a depressive mood. However, it is quite the opposite. My birthday is also in December, but it is also a day that gets forgotten by most and combined with Christmas. I get told a lot that it's close enough to Christmas that it doesn't need to be celebrated or I'm at an age where I shouldn't care this much about celebrating my birthday. No matter how old you get, wanting your own family to acknowledge your birthday regardless of how close to the holiday it is or even if it happens to be on a holiday is not ridiculous. You are not asking for too much to be acknowledged. It is also the time of year when everyone around you has plans galore and can rarely get together. When you are single and just want to hang out with family or friends it becomes lonely when they have plans and you do not. So I spend most of my time in my apartment by myself. I isolate myself and pull away from others. Thankfully my best friends do not allow me to fully feel alone in this world even if they are busy, they still check on me and make time to call or Facetime me. One of the best life lessons I have learned through my struggles with depression and anxiety is that the people who are in your corner when you are at your worst should be the ones who are by your side when you are at your best.

People often get scared away from talking about Mental Health. I have had friends who have asked me why I am so comfortable talking about my mental health and the battles I go through. It's because of the battle I have gone through and continue to fight through. If I talk about my own battles, then maybe it can help someone else who is also struggling. It is also not healthy to keep it all in and not talk about it. I use to vent to friends about my mental health until I was once told that it is exhausting to be my friend because I always seem to have something wrong with my mental health. So, recently I have stopped venting to friends, but I will never stop talking about how important it is to take your mental health. Take it from someone who didn't reach out until it was almost too late. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS.